On one of the forum boards I frequent, there’s a thread about feeling like you’ve gone in the wrong direction with your life. I haven’t posted anything there, and I most likely won’t, but it is a topic that hits very close to home.
I think once I hit college, my life went off-kilter. While I did well and graduated with honors, there are so many choices I could have made that would have changed my life as it is now. I could have kept the same major but chosen my classes more judiciously. I really messed up in the relationship department. I could have used my time more wisely, not by studying more, but by being more social.
After college, I should have listened more to some people, and less to others. I should have paid attention to my gut instincts rather than to outsiders’ logic. I should have grown a backbone when I needed it, or at the very least kept on using it once it appeared. I should have not dragged myself so far into debt. I should have been my own person from the start.
There are regrets. Hindsight is 20/20. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. No use crying over spilled milk. I know all the platitudes and all the reasons not to look over my shoulder.
I still wish I’d done things very differently. And change isn’t as easy as so many think.
