Strange, Wonderful December 30, 2008

Friendship is a strange and wonderful thing, and I mean both strange and wonderful in the fullest sense of the words.

Tonight I was driving with my best friend since freshman year of high school when she said something that completely summed up our friendship. It was something along the lines of, “What, decided not to try and kill me tonight?”

You see, we are both very good drivers, and we’ve always been very cautious drivers… except when we’re in a car together. At those times, things just go awry. It isn’t that we’re being reckless or goofing off, we just become Stupid Drivers. We’ve not yet had any actual accidents together –mine have all been solo, she was in a fender-bender with another mutual friend in the car– but there have been plenty of near-misses.

This one was typical. We were on our way from dinner to do a bit of quick shopping, and I needed to make a left-hand turn. It looked like there was plenty of room before the oncoming car would reach us, and I stepped on the accelerator. And as soon as I felt the car start to move, I thought of all the times we’d come so close to a bad outcome, and I braked almost before we started moving.

Not an unwise decision, it turns out, since the oncoming car was moving faster than it appeared. Had I kept going, we probably would have made it through unscathed, but for once I forced the Stupid out of my head and made the responsible driver take charge. I do know that we’ve been lucky so far, and I don’t want our luck to run out while I’m the one behind the wheel.

So yes, tonight I decided not to try to kill you. We’ve got something too strange and wonderful to risk.

I Can’t Believe I Hate a Bookstore December 29, 2008

Bookstores have always been an oasis and a refuge for me. There is little more soul-satisfying than shelves of brand-new books just waiting to be brought home and devoured and gradually worn down by countless loving reads and re-reads. And until tonight, I’ve never been in a bookstore I haven’t liked.

I received two books for Christmas that I’d like to return (one was a duplicate, and the other I have no desire to read even though it was written by the same author) and wanted to know what the store’s policy was. I went to the information desk at the front of the store and asked the slightly stoned-but-happy-looking woman standing there how they handled returns. She replied, “It’s printed on the back of the receipt.”

I calmly explained to her that I had received the books in question as a Christmas gift and didn’t have a receipt. A cashier looked over at me and asked, “Don’t you have a gift receipt?”

I replied to the negative. The cashier then asked, “Did you buy them yourself?” The Information Desk woman looked on in a daze.

I repeated that no, I didn’t buy them, I got them as a gift, and had no receipt of any kind. The cashier then said, “Well then…..”

As I waited for the cashier to continue whatever it was she was saying, Information Desk woman opened up the register tape compartment and pulled out a length of blank tape and handed it to me (the return policy was on the back). The cashier apparently had no intention of finishing her thought and was studiously ignoring me.

I read through the words on the back of the register tape and finally came to a bit about how they’d accept returns without a receipt and give credit in the amount of the lowest sale price of the book over the period of the last 6 months. As I tried to verify this with Information Desk woman, she just gazed at me blankly.

Boggled that not a single employee could tell me the store’s return policy, I folded the tape and put it in my purse.

I normally love bookstores. I left with such hatred for this one that I almost don’t want to return the damn books because I feel sure I’ll get pennies for them in exchange, and I don’t want to give them a cent more than they’re legally due. I almost don’t even want the store credit because I don’t want to encourage the unhelpfulness and vacuity of their staff. I left the store feeling hostile and dirty.

I’m almost dreading going back tomorrow with the books to find out what they’re willing to offer me credit-wise. Depending on their answer, if it isn’t worth the feelings of disgust I get from dealing with that store, I’ll keep the damn books and sell them through Amazon.

Death Be Not Proud December 28, 2008

I had planned on writing something thoughtful and profound about grief tonight. Today I stood in front of yet another casket, mourning the loss of yet another life, and I intended to come back and write about it and pull the experience from my memory and make it accessible. I can’t do it.

There has been too much sorrow and too much grief. There are constantly more and more losses, yet the ranks of the grieving never seem to lessen. I could try to wax eloquent about the lives and legacies of those I miss, but instead I’m tired. I’m tired of the crying, tired of the emptiness, tired of comforting and being comforted. I’m tired of the never-ending reminders of my own mortality, and I want to forget for a time that there is such a thing as death and loss and sorrow. And so you will hear no such reflections from me.

I will, however, offer John Donne’s words:

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think’st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.
From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee,
Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,
And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,
Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.
Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,
And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell,
And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,
And better then thy stroake; why swell’st thou then;
One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Music, Maestro December 28, 2008

I received an email a few days ago from a pizza chain promising 75 free MP3 downloads if I just clicked on their little link. The link brought me to a site that is actually a subscription music service, and I had to sign up for a subscription before it would allow me access to my 50 free downloads (not 75 as promised) during a limited 14-day trial period. If I don’t cancel my subscription before the trial period ends, I have to pay for at least the next month’s service.

So now I’m madly trying to find 50 songs I want to download ASAP so I can get my music and cancel the subscription. The trouble is, I’m either drawing a blank on music I want, or the songs I’m looking for aren’t available. I’ve manged to use 26 downloads already, only some of which was stuff I really wanted, so I’m asking for your help. What songs should I get to add to my music collection? I’m truly at a bit of a loss.