Gunpowder December 27, 2008

What strange seasonal weather. As is typical the last few years, we didn’t have a white Christmas. It was more of a mucky-grey-and-brown Christmas, although there were flakes in the air. But now, here it is two days after Christmas and outside it’s a balmy 61F. We’re talking about a part of the country that regularly had snowstorms on Halloween when I was young. This is seriously weird.

It will be nice for the family, though, since the Mr., my dad, my brother, and assorted kidlets will be trekking off for points south to a cabin for a few days of rustic living and gunpowder. It would be more of a guys’ outing except that my goddaughter insists on going along. She’s a pretty good shot, from what I hear.

No one in my family hunts –we’re all too soft-hearted– but most of us shoot. Among the adults, my mom and SIL are the only exceptions. Now the kids are getting involved, and most of the focus for them is on gun safety and responsibility. They’re going to be around guns, that’s already an established fact, and they’re much less likely to misuse them or be stupid about them if they’re taught and supervised and given the information they need to have the proper respect for firearms.

The other bonus is that I’ll have a few days to myself, and I can eat what I want and leave the TV off if I want and play on the computer when I want for as long as I want. I still have to go back to work Monday, but I’m going to thoroughly enjoy tomorrow and Monday evening. And for that, I don’t care what the weather is.

Angie December 26, 2008

Today I received a phone call telling me that one of my bellydance troupe sisters died at midnight on Christmas.

Angie had been diagnosed with lung cancer early this year, and she completely withdrew from all of us right after she was diagnosed. She didn’t speak to any of us, wouldn’t return calls or emails, and certainly wouldn’t see any of us. Shortly after her initial diagnosis, we found that the cancer had metastized in her liver and worse, her brain. Although the prognosis wasn’t good, she went through radiation and chemo and actually improved. We still didn’t hear directly from her, but had ways of getting small updates about her condition.

Angie was feeling good and doing well, until suddenly she just wasn’t. Her husband held her for the last six hours of her life, and after she was gone, he made sure to tell our troupe director, who is the one who called me with the news. Services will be in the next few days, and Angie’s husband is making sure that her bellydance gear is part of her memorial, since it was such a defining part of who Angie was. She was such a joyful soul and it was so easy to tell she poured all of that into her dancing, and we were a better troupe because of it.

I think tonight I’ll paint my nails purple, NYC Purple Pizzazz Frost to be exact, from the bottle of nail polish that was part of Angie’s last Christmas gift to all of us for Christmas 2007. Purple is our troupe color, and I think it’s only fitting that we wear it in her honor when we gather to say our goodbyes to her.

I’m going to miss you, lady. I hope Elvis was there to greet you as you moved on.

joyful dancer girl

Best of Intentions December 23, 2008

The weather is absolutely miserable tonight, nothing but freezing rain and chill and blah. The roads are horrendously slippery and the wind is howling and barreling in through the vents and around the windows. The massive prep for Christmas Eve with the outlaws was underway when the Mr. decreed that tonight, we would order a pizza.

Okay, fair enough, I can dig that, although I feel badly for the drivers who have to risk their necks for minimum wage. Since we were baking, I thought it would be a nice gesture to make up a little baggie of freshly-baked cookies for our delivery person, in addition to the tip. I picked out a half-dozen cookies and sealed them up, and when the driver came to the door, I handed him the bag o’ cookies with his tip and said only, “These are for you.”

The driver was looking a little startled but not displeased when my husband chimed in from the kitchen, “Merry Christmas!” The driver stammered a little, mumbled, “Yeah. . . .” and then “You too. . . .” as he fairly scrambled down the icy steps to his car.

And then I began to think, “Oh no, he’s Jewish. He’s probably a diabetic, too. Oh crap, I bet he’s allergic to nuts! He has a sensitivity to artificial food colorings! I just killed our Jewish diabetic nut-and-artificial-color-intolerant pizza delivery guy two days before Christmas! What have I done?!”

And it seemed like such a nice gesture at the time . . . .

Freedom December 22, 2008

I posted about the quickly-approaching escape from credit card debt a few days ago and coincidentally got a call from my credit counseling service late last week.  I wasn’t home at the time, and the voicemail message said only to call.  There was no reason given.

I was a little concerned as I dialed the number the rep gave me, since I’ve actually spoken to a real, live person only a handful of times in the four years I’ve been on the program.  The rep who answered had me run through the usual identity verification process, and then asked the reason for my call.  I had to tell her I didn’t know, just that I’d been told to call.  This prompted a bit of account research on her part, but soon she’d found what she was looking for:  there was a problem with one of my accounts.

Oh bloody hell.  I just waxed poetic to the internet at large about how wonderfully I was doing, and now I’ve gone and mucked something up.

It seemed that one of my accounts had been mistakenly closed, and the creditor had contacted CCCS for payment.  Interestingly enough, I had just mailed in a photocopy of my statement showing a zero balance on that account, and had deposited an account overpayment refund check a day or two before, for exactly the amount I seemed to owe.

The final consensus was that someone at CCCS had misread my account balance upon receiving the copy of my account statement, and hadn’t noticed the negative sign in front of the balance when it was entered into the system.  Half an hour or so on the phone smoothed things out, for which I was happy.  Then the account rep said something that made my heart jump into my throat.

“It looks like you have enough banked in your account here, I’m going to call your creditors and get payoff amounts, and you can start the new year clean and fresh.”

What?

It turns out I was further ahead than I thought.  Two days after that account trouble call, I received another phone call congratulating me on completing the program, confirming the cancellation of my weekly automatic withdrawals, working out final details, and advising me of the next steps I need to take to rebuild my credit.  What a beautiful way to end this year and begin the next.

I took the call in the middle of my work day, and was nearly in tears.  So many long months of sacrifice and self-denial; so many weeks of worry, knowing how much I had to spend after my CCCS payments were taken out, and realizing that I had $3 to last me until payday on Friday; so much shame for getting myself into that mess.  It’s taken a few days for the realization to sink in, and it hasn’t fully done so yet.  Today I still had that knot of worry in the pit of my stomach, checking my bank account to see how much I had left for the week, but the withdrawals have been stopped as promised, and for the first time in years I can let the pennies take care of themselves for a time.

With Christmas swiftly approaching and this weight lifted off me, I  admit I splurged a little bit more on a few gifts than I was planning on just a week ago.  This time, though, I have the money to cover it all up front and a cushion to spare, and payday is approaching when finally, after all this time, my savings will begin to grow.

It sounds corny and cliched, but this year, my financial freedom is the best gift I could possibly receive, made even more precious by the fact that with the help of professionals, I was able to do it for myself.

I’m proud of me.

(I want to thank the folks at Holidailies for including my entry about my brother in their Best of Holidailies listing, and say that everyone’s kind comments are appreciated.)