Renewal July 28, 2009

I have the worst excuse in the world for not writing: I forgot my WordPress.com password and was too lazy to reset it.  Through the course of my laziness, though, many things have changed.

I am approaching the end of my weight-loss journey and the beginning of a new way of living.  I have lost 35 pounds so far with not many more to go.  The losing is nearly over; the time to make this new me into ME is fast approaching.

I applied for, and was offered, a new job.  I’ve been here for nearly two months.  It’s a change, going from the second-in-command of a department to the know-nothing wanna-be admin flunkie.  The know-nothing part is starting to diminish.  The admin part is sometimes hard to swallow.  The company is good, and the perks are *really* good, or at least they are if you like beer.

It’s a silly thing, but I’m making a concerted effort to take better care of my teeth.  I’ve been lucky so far, but my first filling (at age 34) was enough to get my rear in gear and start flossing regularly and brushing more frequently.  The fact that my teeth are yellowing and one front tooth is dead is only adding to that; I have an appointment for whitening and a veneer to make me feel better about my smile.

I’m leaving for my medieval camping trip soon, prefaced by an unusually horrible pre-trip sewing extravaganza.  Hopefully I’ll have pictures soon.

My attempt to maintain my own domain has flopped after 3 posts.  I’m debating about dropping it altogether and just being happy with WP.com – after all, it’s been nice to me so far.

The Lessening Continues March 20, 2009

Today marks the start of Week 10 of Fat Club.  At the end of nine weeks, I sit here over 15 lbs lighter than I was at the beginning of the year.

I feel very lucky that I’ve steadily lost weight and haven’t yet had to deal with any of the emotional fallout that comes with gaining a few ounces instead of seeing that scale number drop.  I even said as much when I was complimented on my progress during my weigh-in yesterday.  And my leader, bless her, said, “It’s not luck.  You’ve been working hard and it shows.”

It took me a few minutes to think about it and realize that she’s right.  I have been working hard.  I’ve been tracking my food intake and my activity, and when I’ve made mistakes and miscalculated, or gone off track I’ve made efforts to account for those and counteract them with exercise and activity.  I’ve tried to take the program to heart, and I’m seeing good, steady results.  Even this week when I’ve been eating crap (I’ve had cherry pie, restaurant omlettes, Taco Bell, pizza, and sushi all within the last 7 days) I’m very aware of what crap I eat, and how much of it, and still work towards making better food choices even as I indulge.

The weight loss is showing.  My pants are all too big, to the point that even belting them looks bad from all the excess fabric bunching.  I’m hesitant to buy clothing since I know I’m aiming to lose more, and I don’t want to waste money on things I’ll be able to wear for just a few months.  I did, however, buy a pair of pants off eBay that are the same size and cut as my best-fitting pair currently, and hopefully those will tide me over until I get closer to my goal weight, whatever that may be.

Only 13 lbs away from being allowed to play with my new eee PC!

Slacker March 4, 2009

The cursed project may, in fact, be cursed, but it sure as heck doesn’t take two months of dedicated time to run.  It has been just over a week and I’m nearly done with my tasks, and I have oodles of free time in which to pick up random incoming jobs.  My boss and I have come to the conclusion that the last several people to laugh in the face of danger and fail miserably work on this project padded their time by at least a few weeks and were probably playing solitaire.  It’s less stressful this way, although the first few days were wretched, and  I think overall I prefer it.

That being said, I’m finding it very difficult to concentrate at work. This is due, I think, to three things:

• I am in the feeble clutches of a not-very-robust, but still irritating headache
• My caffeine supply is dangerously low
• I hate what I do to make money

At the same time, I could be using my unproductive work hours for personal non-work productivity, but I’ve come to the realization that I’m a slacker at heart.  I am attempting to write an engaging article for the company newsletter about what the clueless customer service people need to know so I can do my job effectively, but I think that’s contributing to my first bullet point.

I’m amazed that I’ve managed to write this much.

In geeky news, I just ordered an ASUS eee PC 901 in Sweet Pea green.  I was going to wait and order it as my “Yay, me!” for making my mini-goal weight.  However, ASUS is currently offering a rebate which ends 3/8/09, and that changed my tactics a bit.  While this snappy little netbook will arrive well before I reach my mini-goal, I won’t have custody of it until I see those numbers on the scale.  By my calculations, that should be mid-May.  Delayed gratification!

I Totally Drank The (Sugar-Free) Kool-Aid January 31, 2009

I’m currently on my third week of Weight Watchers and I am totally and completely sold. The first week was the hardest, but more in a getting-used-to-everything way than a I’d-ransom-my-grandmother-for-a-cookie way. I’ve come to terms with constantly thinking about food. It isn’t obsession or fixation but rather an awareness that currently takes up a lot of my brain space.

When I attempted the South Beach diet, I did it by the book. I ate zero carbs or sugars for the first phase, used only SB-approved recipes, the whole nine yards. I think I followed it religiously for a little over two months and lost about 6 pounds. There wasn’t a day when I wasn’t hungry and craving all the things I wasn’t allowed to have. The Cheez-Its in my pantry mocked me and I dreamt of potato chips and toast and pizza.

I recently tried the Special K Challenge (a bowl for breakfast and lunch and then a sensible dinner) as well for nearly a month. Even during the first week, I was starving ALL THE TIME. I could not wait to make it to dinnertime, and probably sabotaged myself with after-work snacks. I lost, I think, three pounds over that month.

I’ve only been following WW for a little over two weeks, and there are serious differences from my other attempts. The big one is that I don’t feel deprived. I can have my toast and my chips and a sandwich for lunch and anything else I could possibly want. There are no food restrictions. I like that. The other is that really, I don’t get that hungry, but if I am hungry I can eat and that’s ok. As a matter of fact, it’s popcorn time right now.

As of my last weigh-in I’ve lost nearly 4 pounds. Wait, what’s that again?

I have lost weight without resorting to a diet of spinach and egg substitute; precisely-measured breakfast cereal for 66% of my daily meals; craving forbidden foodstuffs; or being a cranky bitch. That’s pretty impressive. Not only that, but I have lost more weight in less time and with significantly less angst.

I feel like I can totally do this.