I have the worst excuse in the world for not writing: I forgot my WordPress.com password and was too lazy to reset it.  Through the course of my laziness, though, many things have changed.

I am approaching the end of my weight-loss journey and the beginning of a new way of living.  I have lost 35 pounds so far with not many more to go.  The losing is nearly over; the time to make this new me into ME is fast approaching.

I applied for, and was offered, a new job.  I’ve been here for nearly two months.  It’s a change, going from the second-in-command of a department to the know-nothing wanna-be admin flunkie.  The know-nothing part is starting to diminish.  The admin part is sometimes hard to swallow.  The company is good, and the perks are *really* good, or at least they are if you like beer.

It’s a silly thing, but I’m making a concerted effort to take better care of my teeth.  I’ve been lucky so far, but my first filling (at age 34) was enough to get my rear in gear and start flossing regularly and brushing more frequently.  The fact that my teeth are yellowing and one front tooth is dead is only adding to that; I have an appointment for whitening and a veneer to make me feel better about my smile.

I’m leaving for my medieval camping trip soon, prefaced by an unusually horrible pre-trip sewing extravaganza.  Hopefully I’ll have pictures soon.

My attempt to maintain my own domain has flopped after 3 posts.  I’m debating about dropping it altogether and just being happy with WP.com – after all, it’s been nice to me so far.

Tonight was a good night in spite of getting out of work late, coming home to find there was a misunderstanding with one of my creditors, and not having time to get ready for the revel.

Since I was going to be wearing a gown and dancing and most likely flashing a bit of ankle, I knew I really ought to shave my legs.  Sadly I ran out of time, so I figured I’d wear boots so my ankles wouldn’t show.  The only problem was that I couldn’t actually locate my boots. (In retrospect, I think I know where they are now.)  I instead opted for a pair of knee-high blue and white striped “crazy socks.”  Heck, striped hose was period.

Because of my sewing fiasco last week, I wore the Italian Renaissance gown I’d purchased at Pennsic this year with a dark green satin skirt, and I received so many complements on it that I’m glad  I wore it.  I have some extra green fabric that may match fairly closely, so perhaps I’ll make a pair of sleeves to add on to it.  I tried out a bit of gravity-defying lacing of the bodice, and was pleased with the results.  Bonus that I never fell out.

The dance challenge went well and I even got to dance the ladies’ part for the majority of dances.  I am now the proud owner of a neat little pewter Norse dancing man for completing the 10-dance challenge.  Yay Dance Guild!

I opted to join the group at their regular pub after meeting, which was also a good time.  I’ll definitely be going again on occasion.

This update has been brought to you by coming home at 12:30 AM and still needing a Holidailies post.

I spent several of my teenage years as a member of the SCA, and those years both in and out of the Society really shaped who I am today.  Much of it had to do with the gentleman I was involved with at the time, as his support and encouragement helped me grow in so many ways.

Back then I built my “play” persona around his suggestions, not really having any strong preferences of my own.  That isn’t a bad thing.  The alternate identity I developed was as comfortable to me as my favorite college sweatshirt, and to this day if anyone calls me by that alternate name, I answer to it without even thinking.  The difficulty came when the relationship ended, and I made the decision to fall out of the Society.  It was too painful to be in that environment where I had fallen in love and all my memories involved him, but yet I missed the dancing and the history and the events and the clothing that made me feel so alive.  For 15 years I kept myself away, but that other me wouldn’t go gently into that goodnight.

On a bit of a whim and thanks to my brother, I decided to dip my toe in again by attending the largest camping event in the US and I fell in love all over again, but with the Society itself.  I promised myself I’d start getting involved once I got back home.  A year later, the event rolled around again.  I hadn’t made it to a single local gathering, but I went camping again, still loved it, and vowed that this year I’d get involved.  Fast forward another year, and the same thing happened… but with one difference.  I made good on my promise to myself, and have been attending meetings and becoming an active participant in my local group.

Mostly it’s been wonderful, but I’ve struggled with a few things.  That gentleman from my past is still there and has a sweet, lovely wife and two darling little boys, and the part of me that never stopped loving him  aches when I see him, although I do my very best to not let it show.  And because I need to deny that old part of me, I felt that I could not retain that old persona.  I’d changed too much, and I needed to be different now for my own sake.

So now it’s a bittersweet project, redesigning myself.  The newer version bears almost no resemblence to my former SCA self, and the things that haven’t changed only I can see.  I have chosen a new name, a new nationality, time period and history.  My primary interest remains the same, but I’m trying to branch out so that the overlap of who I was and who I am doesn’t distract me with memories and regrets.  I’m trying to use the past to build myself anew, and to make myself a better person.

If I can do that in my “play” world, who’s to say I can’t do it for real?

Oooh oooh oooooooh!  My name and device submission to the Academy is under final review!  I should have an answer within a week or so and ooooooooh!

I am way too excited about this.