I have a show coming up in about a month.  I really need to jump off the fat bandwagon, because I’m thinking I’m not going to fit into anything I own, costume-wise.

Actually, this is a good thing.  I was all set to start hitting WW meetings (henceforth known as “Fat Club”) last week, but life interefered and meeting #1 is delayed until this Thursday.  Now I have extra reason to make myself go, even if my buddy can not, because I need to fit into shiny sparkly bits and pieces of fabric!  Oh, and my not having a belly the consistency of cold tapioca might be nice for the audience as well.  One of the ladies in my dance class has been on WW for several months now, and she looks fantastic.  I hadn’t seen her for a while so the difference was very noticeable.  When I asked her if she’d been losing weight, her response was, “Oh my god this was so easy, I wouldn’t have been fat for so many years if I knew this was all I had to do!”  That’s a serious ringing endorsement if I’ve ever heard one.

So Thursday is D-Day.  Or F-Day.  Or the day of my first meeting.  Whatever.  I have real inspiration now, and I hope it keeps me going.

I’m going to hurt tomorrow.

Tonight was my first dance class in a few months, after taking time off to regroup and refresh.  We’re learning floorwork this session, so it’s a lot of thigh and butt work.  My teacher, Layla, took it easy on us but even so, I was all jelly-knees by the time I got home.  I’ve been vegging for a few hours now and can feel the ache; the morning should be interesting.

I’m starting to get my interest in bellydance back.  Layla mentioned she had a few shows lined up for us soon, and my ears pricked up at that.  Of course, my main concern right now is whether or not I’ll fit into any of my costumes.  Even that’s a good sign.  As of September,  I couldn’t wait for the season to be over so I didn’t have to worry about dancing or costuming or any of that.  It feels rather good to care again.

Thanks to the suggestions I got on this post, I was able to finish off my download allotment and cancel the account, meaning I won’t have to pay $12 US for a music service I won’t use.  It’s a good thing, since that particular service doesn’t provide music from many of the top-name artists (Sting and Elton John among many, many others) and actually obliquely suggests you go buy their music from iTunes.  At that point, why in the world would I pay for a subscription and get nothing from it but a redirection to a site where I’d just have to pay additional to get what I want?  However, if your music of choice can be found on CD Baby, you’d have better luck.

My happiest find, as well as the largest cohesive number of downloads, was a collection of drum rhythms by Solace that I’d been wanting ever since my instructor used it in class.  I’m hoping that a new infusion of music might help bring back the enthusiasm that I’ve been lacking lately.

Today I received a phone call telling me that one of my bellydance troupe sisters died at midnight on Christmas.

Angie had been diagnosed with lung cancer early this year, and she completely withdrew from all of us right after she was diagnosed. She didn’t speak to any of us, wouldn’t return calls or emails, and certainly wouldn’t see any of us. Shortly after her initial diagnosis, we found that the cancer had metastized in her liver and worse, her brain. Although the prognosis wasn’t good, she went through radiation and chemo and actually improved. We still didn’t hear directly from her, but had ways of getting small updates about her condition.

Angie was feeling good and doing well, until suddenly she just wasn’t. Her husband held her for the last six hours of her life, and after she was gone, he made sure to tell our troupe director, who is the one who called me with the news. Services will be in the next few days, and Angie’s husband is making sure that her bellydance gear is part of her memorial, since it was such a defining part of who Angie was. She was such a joyful soul and it was so easy to tell she poured all of that into her dancing, and we were a better troupe because of it.

I think tonight I’ll paint my nails purple, NYC Purple Pizzazz Frost to be exact, from the bottle of nail polish that was part of Angie’s last Christmas gift to all of us for Christmas 2007. Purple is our troupe color, and I think it’s only fitting that we wear it in her honor when we gather to say our goodbyes to her.

I’m going to miss you, lady. I hope Elvis was there to greet you as you moved on.

joyful dancer girl